Z fighters Vs Barbie
by DBZHobbit
Summary: Barbie is taking over the world with her commercials so the Z fighters are here to save the day FINISHED!
1. Default Chapter

The Z fighters Vs Barbie  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah, a 14-year-old girl owns her favourite anime. Back to reality!  
  
Ok, if you love Barbie I advise you to stop reading here I hate Barbie, always have done. My Barbie dolls always met an.. Ahem.. 'Unfortunate' end. Also, the other day, while watching TV I realised that there was at least 2 Barbie adverts every break. I have come to the conclusion that BARBIE IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!! So it is only right that the Z Fighters put her in her place   
  
ON WITH THE STORY!  
  
It was quiet at Capsule Corp. The Z fighters where watching TV peacefully, well until a certain advert came on.  
  
"NOT THAT GOD FORSAKEN DOLL AGAIN!!!!!"  
  
Piccolo opened one of his eyes (he was meditating in the corner a.p.u (a.p.u means as per usual)) (A/N Can you have a bracket in a bracket? Oh well) "Vegeta calm down, it's just a Barbie doll"  
  
"You know what it's called!"  
  
Both of Piccolo's eyes were open and he had ceased to float "Pan has about 12 and your daughter has about 50 the amount of times I've babysat and had to play with the dumb things are uncountable!"  
  
Vegeta was standing and still angry with the TV "But it's the same thing, with different clothes and a slightly different accessory each time! Don't they just get sick of the same thing?" At this Bra piped up "But Daddy, they're all different. There's coffee shop Barbie, Ice cream shop Barbie, Soda shop Barbie, Doctor Barbie, Dentist Barbie, Orthopaedic Barbie.." Little Bra was still reciting different kinds of Barbies an hour after Vegeta had stopped listening.  
  
"I don't believe this! That plastic blob with legs has brain washed my daughter!" He stomped to the corner and sat down next to Piccolo "What am I going to do?" Piccolo just sat there, he then said "Nothing. Millions of little girls around the world play with Barbie all the time" he thought a few second longer then said "Actually, Yamcha used to play with them"  
  
"I bet he still does" (A/N I've warned you before, I'm not Yamcha friendly)  
  
Vegeta attempted to meditate (by copying Piccolo) but his mind was too clustered with Barbie that he couldn't concentrate. "That's it!"  
  
Piccolo slowly floated down to the floor "What's it?"  
  
"I've had enough of her! I'm going to the creators!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"To put a stop to all this!"  
  
Vegeta then stormed out of the door.  
  
A few minutes later he came back in and sat by Piccolo. He then said "Pip?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you know who the creators are?"  
  
"Nope, the author never read the actual Barbie boxes"  
  
"Oh dear, so what are we going to do?"  
  
"Ask all the nice readers?"  
  
"Wouldn't that take a while?"  
  
"Yeah but it'll give us a rest"  
  
"Good point!"  
  
They then started to meditate again.  
  
Well, this story was going somewhere but I don't know who the creators of Barbie are so please help me by telling me in a review or something! Please! This story gets funny I promise! 


	2. Vegeta's rampage

Disclaimer: Do not own DBZ do not own Barbie. If I did she wouldn't exist.  
  
First of all I'd like to say thanks to xXxRachiexXx and Chipolata for telling me that Mattel make Barbie and also that the actual person responsible for this monstrosity is Ruth Handler. Thanks Guys!  
  
Vegeta's rampage!  
  
"Yes!" Vegeta jumped up and punched the air.  
  
"What?" said Piccolo as he opened one eye  
  
"The nice reviewers have told the author who makes the evil doll and because she now knows the knowledge has been put in my brain! HA HA!"  
  
"OK.. So are you going to go and kill the doll now?"  
  
"You bet I am!" Yelled Vegeta as he flew out the door.  
  
A little while later Vegeta was at the Mattel headquarters ramming his fist on the head office door, until it fell down and he was left with nothing to knock on. The head office guy was underneath his desk; hugging his knees trying to hide from the 'gang' he thought was attempting to invade his office.  
  
When Vegeta entered and found the guy he started yelling "YOU'VE BRAINWASHED MY DAUGHTER WITH THAT DOLL OF YOURS!"  
  
At this the man started to shake, when he saw that it was one relatively small man he had stopped worrying but now he was filled with even more fear. "W, w, w, well sir... it's not really my fault.erm..you see I don't create the doll I just sell it..you..you need to see the.the.manufacturer! The actual factory!"  
  
Vegeta thought about this for a minute then said "Ok. I'll go to the factory then" With this he flew out of the window and headed for the factory.  
  
Meanwhile, Piccolo had been meditating but couldn't concentrate as pictures of Vegeta pulling the heads off Barbie dolls kept popping into his head (A/N Vegeta would me in chibi form and would laugh insanely as each head popped off) He couldn't take it anymore, he had to stop Vegeta from going over the top and destroying the whole area. Sure he'd blow up all the dolls but he'd blow up ½ a million people at the same time. (A/N Piccolo to the rescue! Sorry but I love him) at this Piccolo flew out (Sorry, I know they fly out a lot) he stopped to sense Vegeta's ki and then flew after his slightly maddened friend.  
  
It took Piccolo half an hour to find Vegeta. The Saiyan prince was banging  
  
on the door of the Mattel factory yelling to be let in. Vegeta stood back  
  
and thought, he then shrugged and blew the door of its hinges with an energy  
  
blast. Piccolo smirked; he didn't think that it would have taken Vegeta that  
  
long to remember he could blow up the door. He must be agitated.  
  
He then stopped smirking and rushed after Vegeta. When he caught up to him  
  
Piccolo found Vegeta looking for the manager's office and destroying every  
  
Barbie that crossed his path, he was leaving a trail of blonde heads and  
  
decapitated bodies behind him.  
  
"He must have childhood issues," Piccolo muttered to himself.  
  
Vegeta then ran into the manager's office and Piccolo dashed in after him.  
  
They both stood there in shock. In the office, sitting on the desk was...!  
  
Wait for chapter 3 to find out!  
  
I know I'm evil, sorry, but I'm writing this in my school lunch and I have a  
  
Spanish test next that I should revise for. So, please review! Then I'll do  
  
my Spanish test and write chapter 3!  
  
Push the button! You know you want to. 


	3. Useless in the office

Disclaimer: How many times do I have to say? I don't own this stuff!  
  
Hello again. Really stuck for stuff to say now. Oh, any of you who have read my past fics might have guessed whose going to be in the office by now. Sorry that the formatting has gone weird but I can't help it.  
  
On with the story.  
  
Useless in the office  
  
Piccolo entered the office just after Vegeta, they both stopped dead in their tracks, their mouths fell open and they stared numbly at the figure  
  
sitting on the desk playing with one of the dolls that started this whole  
  
business off in the first place.  
  
"YAMCHA!" They said in unison (A/N You can't say you know me if you didn't  
  
think that was coming)  
  
"Oh, Hey guys! Wanna play?" Vegeta came out of his stupor, charged over to  
  
Yamcha, grabbed his collar and pulled him off the desk to the Saiyan  
  
Prince's eye level (which was quite low. He's so cute and small!) "You! You  
  
are the one that started all this!"  
  
"No. I'm just the tester"  
  
At this Piccolo chimed in "You play with the dolls?!"  
  
"Yeah! It's really fun! You wanna try!"  
  
"Forget it you freak" (A/N That's a very bad insult if the green guy tell  
  
you you're a freak)  
  
Yamcha managed to get out of Vegeta's grip and started combing the hair of  
  
the Barbie he had been playing with as it had been severely ruffled by the  
  
Prince's grasp. Piccolo heard Vegeta mutter something under his breath that  
  
sounded oddly like 'puff'  
  
Vegeta was still angry at Yamcha when he said "So where are the creators?"  
  
Yamcha stopped combing the doll's hair "I don't know" Vegeta's temper flew  
  
sky-high and Piccolo had to hold him back otherwise he might of ripped  
  
Yamcha's head off (A/N As much as I would like that it's not the main idea  
  
of this fic, I'll kill Yamcha another time) Vegeta was red in the face and  
  
contrasted with Piccolo horribly (Red and green should never be seen without  
  
another colour in between, Or so says my Nan, Grandma to those who don't  
  
know what a Nan is) "WHERE ARE THEY THEN!"  
  
Yamcha didn't seem to notice that Vegeta was in a murderous rage he just  
  
calmly sat changing the dress on his doll "I don't know, I think they went  
  
somewhere called Angyland"  
  
Piccolo couldn't believe Yamcha's stupidity "You mean ENGLAND"  
  
"Yeah! That was it!"  
  
Vegeta flung Piccolo back and the poor Namek fell on his booty in the  
  
doorway (A/N I'll kiss it better! I volunteer! Psycho Dende: Shut up and get  
  
on with the story! A/N Sorry will stop trying to kiss Piccolo better now)  
  
Vegeta ran to the window, opened it and flew out. Yamcha and Piccolo stared  
  
after him. Yamcha put his doll down "So where's he going?" Piccolo sighed,  
  
got up and brushed himself off "To England I suppose. I better follow him,  
  
he might blow up the author's house without realising"  
  
"Author? Author of what?"  
  
"Not with the concept of this story or site are you?"  
  
"What story? What site?"  
  
Piccolo just shuck his head in disbelief, Yamcha was so ignorant, he then  
  
flew out of the window after his slightly deranged friend.  
  
OK, not the sort of chapter it was originally going to be, it ended up being  
  
a dis Yamcha chapter. Oh well, have to go as yet again I have a Spanish test  
  
and I haven't revised. I really should get into the habit of that. Anyway  
  
please review and don't worry he does find the creators! 


	4. Liverpool

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the DBZ characters of that godforsaken  
  
Barbie doll!  
  
Chapter 4! Wahoo! I'm on a writing spree! I actually wrote some of this at  
  
the end of a physics test as I had finished and also had a spare piece of  
  
paper. And I was feeling quite resentful towards my physic teacher. Anyway,  
  
I'll shut up now. Oh, and I've been told that I do too many authors note so  
  
I'll try and keep them to a minimum.  
  
Liverpool  
  
Vegeta landed in Liverpool town centre at 3 o'clock the next morning, he  
  
frightened a few people but they were all drunk so they didn't know that  
  
they really did see a man flying. When Piccolo landed the drunks started  
  
laughing and said that the midget man had a goblin friend. Piccolo managed  
  
to stop Vegeta from blowing them up, but only just.  
  
Ruth Handler (The original creator) was at a Barbie convention at 10 o'clock  
  
the next day so Piccolo and Vegeta had time to do a little sightseeing. All  
  
Vegeta wanted to do was find Handler's hotel, but Piccolo argued that you  
  
weren't in England everyday.  
  
"Why couldn't she be somewhere more interesting" Vegeta moaned,  
  
"Liverpool is interesting" Piccolo already had a Beatles hat with a Yellow  
  
submarine on it and he was thoroughly enjoying himself. "They have a really good football team" (A/N Soccer to Americans. Liverpool F.C rules!) "Liverpool has just been voted world capital of culture 2008"  
  
"Really? But it's 2003."  
  
"I know, I don't get it either"  
  
"So where are we sleeping?"  
  
"Hotel?"  
  
"Did you bring any money?"  
  
"Nope"  
  
"No Hotel then"  
  
"How about the author's place?"  
  
"The author lives around here?"  
  
"Yeah, just on the other side of the river"  
  
"Lets go there then. Will you take that hat off!"  
  
"Awwww" Piccolo reluctantly took off his hat and stuffed it in his pocket.  
  
10 minutes later they were on the small peninsular on the other side of the River Mersey. At 2pm they knocked on the door of DBZHobbit, a rather small brown haired, brown-eyed 14-year-old girl opened the door and stared open mouthed as her two favourite characters stood on her doorstep. Vegeta stooped silently and said, "Hey kid, where's DBZHobbit." The girl smirked exactly like the Saiyan prince and said, "You're looking at her"  
  
"WHAT!?"  
  
Piccolo looked impressed "You write these stories?"  
  
"Yep" She then stepped back and said, "Do you want to come in?" Piccolo entered the small house dragging a still shocked Vegeta behind him. "We need a place to stay so maybe-"  
  
"Of course you can stay here. I'll take you to the Barbie convention tomorrow and we can finally get that woman"  
  
Vegeta came out of his stupor "How do you know about that?"  
  
"Duh, I wrote it"  
  
"Oh yeah"  
  
So we'll have something to eat then go to my friend's house"  
  
Vegeta entered the kitchen behind her followed by Piccolo "Why are we going to your friend's house?"  
  
"Because we have time to kill and she would kill me if she knew I'd met you and didn't let her see you"  
  
"Dos she have powers?"  
  
"No, it was a figure of speech. But I wouldn't put it past her."  
  
She then opened the fridge and all the cupboards "There's not enough here to feed half a saiyan let alone a full one. There's enough for me and Piccolo but not even a snack for you Vegeta"  
  
"So I get to starve. That's favouritism"  
  
"It's not my fault your stomach is the size of a small continent. Even if I do like Piccolo a little more than you"  
  
So Piccolo and DBZHobbit ate, watched by a sulky Vegeta they then left for xXxrachiexXx's house (A/N can't be bothered to keep doing the x's so I'll just call her Rachie from now on)  
  
They stepped outside and Vegeta asked "How are we getting there?"  
  
"You two can fly so I'll just hold on"  
  
"You didn't feed me so why should I carry you."  
  
"Who says I was going to ask you anyway? And quit moaning Rachie will feed you"  
  
She then jumped on Piccolo's back, which was quite a problem due to her size, and they flew off to go to rachie's house.  
  
Bit of a wacky chapter, probably because I was in Physics writing one part and ill writing the other part. Complete and utter chaos is to follow. Please Review! 


	5. WAR!

WAR!!!  
  
Disclaimer: For the fifth or sixth time (I can't remember which) I don't own DBZ!  
  
DBZHobbit: Ok. Rachie is helping me write this one as she plays a main part in it.  
  
Psycho Dende: And I get to join up with my friend Kakarot.  
  
Everyone else: Who?  
  
Psycho Dende: -_- Rachie's alter ego!  
  
Everyone else: Oh!  
  
Kakarot: Fine then! We'll go plan maniacally in the corner while they carry on with their silly fanfic.  
  
Psycho Dende: Deal!  
  
Rachie: What's with them?  
  
DBZHobbit: Lack of evil activity has driven them mad  
  
Rachie: So they're scheming in the corner again?  
  
DBZHobbit: Yep. Anyway, on with the fanfic.  
  
DBZHobbit, Piccolo and Vegeta knocked on Rachie's door. Like her midget friend she stared open mouthed before letting them in. She led them to the living room and sat closer to Vegeta than was necessary. They explained what was going on, half way through the conversation Rachie's dad came in, saw the girls, man, green alien and just shrugged and walked straight back out of the room. After that they decided to devise a plan; they would raid the convention and take out Ruth Handler by the most explosive means possible as Vegeta wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
So, they stayed the night and Vegeta finally got some food, he was in a bad mood as it had taken DBZHobbit over two hours to remember to feed him. The next morning they left for Liverpool by the fastest ay possible, flying. Much to Vegeta's dislike as he had to carry Rachie, which was quite funny as she was taller then him. "WAIT!" DBZHobbit yelled so abruptly that Piccolo nearly dropped her.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"We have to pick someone up!"  
  
"What are you talking about child!" Vegeta had thrown Rachie over his shoulder so he could see.  
  
"If I don't somehow work Matthew into this fic he'll kill me!"  
  
"Who's going to carry him? I wont as I've got this" as he said 'this' he jolted Rachie so she bounced an inch then landed back on his shoulder. He then regretted it as she screamed down his ear thinking she was going to fall (A/N Ha! Make fun of my mate will ya!)  
  
"Piccolo can manage him. Can't you Piccolo?" She then batted her eyelids sweetly at her carrier and the tall Namek blushed and mumbled something about being able to handle another kid.  
  
After picking up a now much bewildered Matthew the five anti-Barbie machineries headed for the convention. When they got there Vegeta immediately began causing havoc, blowing up everything that crossed his path, including some limited edition Barbie that were now worthless pieces of charcoal. DBZHobbit quietly followed the Saiyan prince, promptly yanking the heads of any Barbie Vegeta left untouched. Piccolo stared at her, then turned to the humans and said, "Vegeta did the exact same thing the last time we encountered the dolls"  
  
Matthew nodded "Yep, she likes to see how far she can throw the heads. She declared war because she says that Barbie brainwashed her little sister"  
  
Rachie joined in "Yeah, she acts a lot like Vegeta sometimes" Piccolo smirked and turned back to the two shorter members of their party "Well, he wont like that"  
  
Both Vegeta and DBZHobbit stopped for neither of them knew which person was the one to torture and destroy. Then they found that the stupidity of Barbie had helped them as Ruth Handler was cowering in a corner wearing a large T-shirt and a badge saying, "I am the creator of Barbie. Praise me." Vegeta dragged her out and stood her in front of then. She was trembling and the two people before her looked almost manic. She jumped when Vegeta barked, "What do you think you were doing, creating these.things!"  
  
"W-What?"  
  
"You brainwashed my daughter!"  
  
"And my sister!"  
  
"Really? Your sister?"  
  
"Yeah, why did you think I made you find me and bring me?"  
  
The Prince thought then said, "Because you were annoying?"  
  
"Shut up. She's trying to crawl away!"  
  
Vegeta had to dash to get to the woman before she reached the fire exit "Nice try, but I'm not done with you yet" The others had joined them now, they wanted to make sure the maddened prince and rather insane Hobbit didn't do anything stupid.  
  
"Stop making the dolls"  
  
"OK!"  
  
"Huh? Just like that?" Vegeta thought that she would have put up more of a fight.  
  
"Yes, I'll stop making them"  
  
"Well.Good" He let her go and they all walked triumphantly to the door. Then Vegeta shrugged, turned around, threw a ki blast and joined the others outside while the whole place blew up behind him. "Vegeta!"  
  
"What?"  
  
After dropping off all the kids, with Piccolo still blushing from getting a kiss on the cheek from his fan (A/N that's me by the way!) they flew home. "Vegeta?"  
  
"What."  
  
"You know that you've just stopped more dolls from being made. There are still millions all around the world"  
  
Vegeta sighed as Capsule Corp. appeared on the horizon. "I know, but hopefully my grandchildren will never have contact with those vile things"  
  
"With you around I'm sure they wont" Vegeta smiled over at his friend and Piccolo smiled back. They landed at Capsule Corp. with everyone waiting to hear their story. Vegeta sat his daughter on his knee and received a huge sense of satisfaction when she told him that she had blown up all her Barbies for him, much to her mother's dislike. That's my girl, he thought, that's my girl.  
  
Yey! Finished! Happy now Matty? Please review! 


End file.
